Inner Dialogue

Today a friend asked me what I thought about while running.  It changes from day to day.  I give thanks and gratitude to every person who has supported me and my fundraising.  I list off all of the reasons I love my life.  I fantasize.  I day dream.  I think about my upcoming trip to Italy.  I make grocery lists.  Most frequently I hold a focused inner dialogue between my mind and my body.  Today it went something like this:

MIND:  Wow, beautiful, clear, sunny Sunday evening - perfect for our run!

BODY:  Define perfect.  I am sore.  Attention: Pain in lower left calf!  I think we should walk.

MIND:  We have been running for three minutes.  Hang in there.  Legs: you have done this many times before, you know the drill.   One foot in front of the other.

BODY:  Walk break.  Walk break.  Walk break.  Walk break.

MIND:  Be quiet.  You sound like a spoiled, whiny child.

BODY:  Better than a mean old drill sergeant.  You are not the boss of me.

MIND:  Yes, I am.  Run until you get to the stop light.  You can take a walk break crossing the street.

BODY:  Thank you.  

MIND:  You are welcome

Run continues for 5 kms.  Body is begging to stop running period, turn around and go home.  Mind knows better and distracts Body by reciting Shakespeare and telling whimsical stories about Venice.

Around 7 km we approach a hill.

BODY:  I am NOT running up that hill.  I will run to the bottom and I will walk up the hill.  This is ridiculous.  Alert:  right thigh muscle is seizing!

MIND:  Relax your right thigh.  You are moving smooth and fluid.  You will run up that hill.

BODY:  I CAN'T!  I WON'T!  Give me a break.  I haven't run in a week.  I have been sick.  I am still healing.  Let's take the bus the rest of the way.

MIND:  You love hill training!  Remember?  You can do it.

BODY:  I remember nothing of the sort.

MIND:  I believe in you.  Remember the feeling of standing at the top of the hill with a sense of accomplishment?  It will only take a few minutes.  You are shortening your run tonight by 2 kms, challenge yourself with a hill run.

BODY:  Fine.  I will not like it.  It won't be easy.  It is going to hurt.  I may die.  (I am at the top already?)

MIND:  See, you did fine.  You can walk for a minute to rest.

BODY:  Whew.

The next kilometer glides by nearly effortlessly.  We approach a second and final hill.

BODY:  Don't even think about it.  This one we are walking up.  You already made my run the last one.

MIND:  Why don't you try this one too?  Imagine your body floating up the hill.

BODY:  Float?  These legs are heavy as lead.  No.

MIND:  Wimp.

BODY:  Bully.

MIND:  Fine, you are recovering from being sick.  Walk up this hill.  You deserve a break.

thirty seconds of silence...

BODY:  Maybe I'll run half way up the hill.

MIND:  That's the spirit.

Half way up Body wanted to show Mind how strong it was.  Together they ran the hill.  At the top there was no stopping.  They continued to run.  Body and Mind smiled in unison.  

"Each of us is something of a schizophrenic personality, tragically divided against ourselves." - Martin Luther King Jr. - Strength to Love - 1963 

tough run tonight...

I bought new shoes last week and was so excited to wear them tonight for my 12 km run.  They are actually exactly the same as my old shoes, but a new pair, and a different color.  I got home from work, laced up the shoes and hit the road.  Three minutes away from home my calves started to ache.  I ignored the pain and kept going - for 5 km - I battled my body.  Every muscle in my lower body was screaming.  I have not had such a difficult run in months!  I think it is pay back for me loudly declaring that my body had finally fallen in love with running and it was getting easier and easier.  I ran 16 km last Sunday and it was an excellent run.  I did get sick right after that and spent several days on the couch.  I did not run again until today.  I shortened my run to 10 km to ease myself back into a routine this week.  The second half of the run was definitely better.  I am humbled.  What did I learn?  Take it easy and listen to my body.  

"Jogging is very beneficial.  It's good for your legs and your feet.  It's also very good for the ground.  It makes it feel needed." - Charles Schulz, Peanuts

14 km

Today I ran the farthest I have ever run before in my entire life.  14 kilometers.  I googled 14 kilometers and found out some interesting facts.  14 kms = 8.6991967 miles.  14 kms is also the shortest distance between North Africa and Spain.  The troposphere, which is the lowermost layer of the atmosphere, is placed at approximately 14 kms above sea level.  I know that 14 kms took me 1 hour and 45 minutes to run, with walk breaks.  Slow and steady.  I also know that something magical happened at 14 kms today.  Something clicked inside my body.  I have known for months in my mind that I will be able to run a half marathon.  Half the battle is psychological.  Today my body agreed with my mind.  My body started to like running today.  Seriously.  I started running in January 2008 and today, March 9th, 2009 was the first day my body actually liked the motion of running.  Hallelujah!  Now, you may be laughing to yourself and that is ok.  I started laughing to myself, too.  Out loud, at the gym.  I have wondered for so many months when exactly running wasn't going to feel so hard.   When will it click?  Today.  Today.  Today.  I had tears in my eyes after my run.  14 kms down, and all I need to add on it 7 more kilometers?  8 more weeks of training?  Victory is mine!

"We improve ourselves by victories over ourself.  There must be contests, and you must win." Edward Gibbon

Thank you's

Thank you to the following people for their love and support:

Allison Shivas , Amanda Rose, Andrea Ting-Letts, Barbara Young, Bob Ayers, Bonnie Knight, Carol Anne Weiner, Helen Strohschein, Christina McBride, Cindy+Don Reynolds, Dawn Henderson, Diana Shivas, Kiff Acres,  James Clark, Jennifer Beattie, Jennifer Clark, Dale Guillemette, Jessica Schmidt, Julie Oye, Kari Cheveldave, Kelly Webb, Ken Wallace, Kevin Clark, Lauren Knight, Hunter Webb, Linda+Clive Lytle, Linda and Ian Grant, Lindsay Archdekin, Lorna Vulliamy, Lynn Hooper, Marnie Carrier, Mike Knight, Nancy Shivas, Natalie and Shawn McKay, Nicole Lopez, Peter Cooch, Rebecca Montgomery, Rita Chand, Robin Biernacki, Melissa Honey, Samantha Allen, Sean+Michelle Wallace, Shayle Melin, Anita Hill, Morgan Westover, Kate Westover, Rees Wallace, Shelagh Lytle-McGee, Stefanie Blackburn, Tony+Elizabeth D'Eramo, Tosh Grant, Tracy Cheveldave, Valerie McCutcheon, Vivian Lim Souza, Wayne Cheveldave

all the lovely MAC Cosmetics girls for eating copious amounts of cookies and other bake sale items! 

other friends and familys show of love, support and encouragement! 

Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you

$6700 Fundraising Goal Achieved!!!

WOW WOW WOW WOW!  I have the honor and pleasure of sharing that together we have raised $6790 as of today!  Thank you to each and every person who has both donated money, as well as supported me in numerous other ways throughout the past 5 months.  There are truly some angels in this world.  It is so wonderful to have the love and support of family and friends, both new and some from many, many years ago.  I am humbled by the support.  The run is still two months away and I figured why stop here?  What are the possibilities of raising $10,000?  Put that out to the universe!  I have raised my goal to $8000.  Once that is achieved, onward and upward.  Everything is possible.  I believe. 

"It is paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most liking way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it." - Arnold Toynbee